heaven and hell

Sex is a substitute to come into the experience to be one but keeps dependent on another person.
Sex as the mind multiplies as the mind, which makes the world fall apart.
Not one as All Life but one with one other person in and as the mind.
One woman and one man (female-energy and male-energy), plus and min in polarity, brought together which gives the experience of one.
If you don't find 'the one' than you cannot experience this oneness.
Genius - genital / geniaal - genitaal.

I experienced this myself.
After the man was running away (as I was running away inside), I letterly wrote him:
Feeling you inside me was like heaven, when you walked away after this it was like hell.
The experience of the mind as falling apart - hell.

I knew this was not true, I knew that I could be one as myself.
But knowing as the mind is not realizing but still as the mind so giving the illusion of the emotional pain of falling apart. From heaven into hell. Polarity coming forward out of polarity.
I was not one and equal as Self and he was not one and equal as Self, so we were not one and equal as self as eachother.
Seperated as a reflection of the situation inside ourselves.
Afscheiding - afscheiding / seperation - secretion in the vagina.

Why have so many woman infections of the bladder after having sex?

Bladder infection. Infection of the bladder / blaas, blowing / blazen instead of breathing.
The bladder is not breathing but blowing. It blows you away.
An infection is because of the anger. Anger gives infections.
It blows you away in anger.

Sex as me, as myself. What is that?

Breathing, only Breathing.

Become one as Breath. One as yourself as Breath as Life.
Than you don't need sex anymore.
Than you don't need a substitue for Breath, for Life, for the experience to be one.
Because you are one as Breath, as Life.
Multiply this and it becomes one as breath plus one as breath plus one as breath.
Untill we are All one as Breathing, One Breath.

Having sex equal and one as Self as Breath.
Not dependent on sexual energy. Because this doesnot exist anymore.
Not dependent on another being, no need to 'relate', to fill the empty place in the mind. Because this doesnot exist anymore.
If you are one as breath it doesnot matter if you are al-one one as breath or one as breath with another being who is one as breath. One is One.

This is as far as I can see at this moment.
I don't have to 'worry' about having sex or not having sex.
I can walk the process to become one as Breath as Life.
Into an agreement in and as myself.
Not having sex at the moment because sex will confuse me. Because I am not yet one and equal as Breath.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to make worries about the question if I can or cannot and will or will not have sex anymore.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I need another person to have sex, which actually means that I need another person to breath, instead of realizing that I as Self am One as Breath as Life; as All Life.