stop emotions and feelings

I have to stop the emotions and feelings. It's an enslavement.
I donot need to understand things first, I just have to stop and than I can start seeing into it.
Again the mind was turning this around. I was going into the emotions and feelings to try to understand, but by doing this I only become more energetic, more away from becoming constant and alive.
It's simple: I have to stop.

Talking with my mother on the phone supported me in this. I cannot be emotional with her. I was always hiding every emotion and feeling because I didnot want to see her into this. We didnot 'connect' as the mind, not at all. So, after the phonecall, I noticed that I was more clear inside, more here. So, the point that I 'blamed' her for in the past, that I could not 'show her my feelings', this now was supporting me to become here. If I am not emotional, not in and as the mind, I cannot be 'hurt' by her anymore. Only my feelings, so the mind can be hurt. Than I don't need to put this item between us anymore, I don't need to use this to unequal myself to her.
This can stop now. Not making new layers of unequality. And remove all the old patrons of unequality.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I first have to go into the emotions and feelings before I can see and understand where they come from, instead of seeing that by doing this I keep the emotions and feelings alive, so I keep the mind alive, instead of becoming Alive one and equal as Self.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my mother had to understand my emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my mother could hurt me as Self, instead of seeing that only the mind can be hurt.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame my mother for the fact that I could not 'show her my feelings'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I needed to show my feelings to my mother or to anyone else.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let decide my mother what I could 'show' and what not.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I have to 'show' something to other people, instead of being equal and one as Self, as Life, as All Life, so there is nothing that need to be shown.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become enslaved to emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to unequal myself to my mother and my mother to myself.