2012 - System-design of Inspiration

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use the experience of relief as a measure for yes or no living with m.

This I wrote in the last blog about the system-design of peace.
Within this I saw that I am always searching for some relief after searching in myself for an answer. If I 'see the point', there is some relief, and this relief I use as a confirmation that I did the right thing. Within this I belief that there is right and wrong. And this searching in myself for answers becomes an addiction if I do it for the need of this experience of relief. If I don't have this experience of relief, I do not know if I am doing the 'right' thing. Actually I am searching for confirmation of myself within this feeling of relief; this is searching for confirmation for my existence by God, The White Light, The Mind as Inspiration.

Thought:
"If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an aswer I do not know if I am right or wrong".

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong".

Trigger-point:
Not being able to make a decision in/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect not being able to make a decission in/as the mind to the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong".
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let not being able to make a decission in/as the mind exist as a trigger-point within me, which triggers the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong".

Type of thought:
Doubt

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to doubt myself by participating in the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong".
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let exist doubt inside myself by participating in the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong".

Emotions / Feelings:
Panic (if not confirmed)
Relief (if confirmed)

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong" to an emotional experience of panic.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate in an emotional experience of panic.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong" to a feeling of relief.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate in a feeling of relief.

Why do I connect an emotion of panic or a feeling of relief to the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an answer I do not know if I am right or wrong"?

I believe that I need an affirmation as a feeling of doing the right thing. This indicates that I still believe that I can be right or wrong and that I have to choose between these two options. Right and wrong only exists in the mind. 
If I experience a feeling of relief, I believe that I am right, that I am doing the right thing, that I choose right. Within this I do not need to die (as the mind) because I am right, I am confirmed as life (as the mind) by rightness. This belief that I do not need to die (as the mind) gives a feeling of relief.
If I experience an emotion of panic, I believe that I don't see what the right thing is to do; and this is giving an emotion of panic. Not being confirmed, and within this only me myself who can direct myself. As long as I am living in the mind this directing is difficult, because in the mind there are always two options out of polarity, which is bringing forward a neccesarity to choose. The only real direction is to stop this polarity, which brings to oneness with self, and within this only one direction is left: as Self, as Life.
The stopping of the mind gives the emotional experience of panic because the mind will die in this, and because I believe that I am the mind I experience panic.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I can remain living in and as the mind if I experience this feeling of relief coming forward out of an affirmation in/as the mind as 'being right'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I have to be right to stay alive.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I die if I am wrong.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to prefer the two options in and as the mind, which is always giving friction, to stay alive above being alive one and equal as myself, which gives only one direction to live as Life as Self.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to prefer friction above oneness and equality out of fear of dying in/as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience panic when I believe that I am going to die in and as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I am going to die when the polarity as myself in/as the mind stops, instead of seeing that I have never been really alive as Life, so how can I die if I am not really alive?
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I have to feel quilty, coming forward out of a belief that I can be right or wrong, and if I am wrong I feel quilty and if I am right I feel relief because I believe that I am not quilty.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to stay quilty to keep myself as the mind alive, in which I keep myself away from self-responsibility; if I am quilty there is nothing I can do, because I am quilty and already committed to the mind in quiltness, so not able to be responsible as Self.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that there is nothing I can do if/because I believe that I am quilty.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to hold on to the polarity of right and wrong and within this take all the quilt on my shoulders out of fear that if I am not confirmed in as the mind by God/The White Light/The Mind/The Man/Mama as The One, The One will leave me, and if The One leaves me I believe that I will die.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to seperate myself from God/The White Light/The Mind/The Man/Mama as The One, instead of being One with/as mySelf as Life, and within this I am equal as God/The White Light/The Mind/The Man/Mama as The One as Self as Life.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use The One as God/The White Light/The Mind/The Man/Mama for Inspiration - in positive or negative way - to feel alive, instead of seeing that I as Self am equal and one as Inspiration, as Life itself is inspiring everything equally as Breath.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to affirm myself to be alive in/as the mind to take all the quilt on my shoulders instead of forgiving myself the feelings of quilt and within this taking responsibility for/as Self.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to stop speeking words, as myself or as the mind? out of fear that The One will leave me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to stop my expression as who I am in any moment, which gives another seperation in/as the mind from myself in/as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that who speaks the words is responsible, so without speaking words I am not responsible.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I am not responsible without speaking words, instead of seeing that I am always responsible for what I speak and for what I have allowed and accepted to let exist inside myself as the world as thoughts, feelings and emotions.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed and not accepted myself to see that I am responsible for what exists inside myself as as the world as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Corrective statements:
When and as I see myself participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions, I stop, I breathe. I realize that within participating inside myself in thoughts, feelings and emotions I allow the world to exist as it is in polarity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to allow the world to exist as it is in polarity by participating inside myself in thoughts, feelings and emotions.
I do not allow myself to allow this world to exist as it is in polarity by participating inside myself in thoughts, feelings and emotions.

When and as I see myself searching for an answer inside myself I stop, I breathe. I realize that as long as I am searching for an answer inside myself I am participating in/as the mind in polarity, and polarity needs an answer to stay alive, otherwise it is no polarity anymore. And so is the mind, it needs an answer as right or wrong to stay alive, otherwise it is not alive anymore.
I realize that within this searching for an answer in polarity - which is actually a searching for confirmation of myself as the mind of being alive - I will not find a real answer as myself as what is best for all. It will only keep me enslaved in/as the mind by giving a feeling of relief when I believe I am right or by keeping on searching for the right answer when I believe that I am wrong.
I do not allow myself to keep myself enslaved to the mind by searching for an answer to give me a feeling of relief when I believe that I am right.
I do not allow myself to keep myself enslaved to the mind by searching for the right answer in as the mind when I believe that I am wrong.

When and as I see myself longing for a feeling of relief by searching for an answer in/as the mind, I stop, I breathe. I realize that I do not need a feeling of relief to affirm myself in as the mind as being alive, because I become one breath more alive by stopping my feelings so by stopping this longing for a feeling of relief. This longing for a feeling of relief will keep me connected to the thought "If I do not have an experience of relief inside myself after searching for an aswer I do not know if I am right or wrong". And this connection to this thought will keep me in polarity, and withion polarity I will always keep on searching for an answer untill I have the 'right answer', to affirm myself as being right by The one as The Mind to experience this feeling of relief. Within this I keep myself enslaved in the circle of death as the mind, biting in my own tail.
I do not allow myself to keep myself alive as the mind in the circle of death.
I stop, I breathe. Within stopping participating in this searching for an answer in/as the mind to affirm myself as being alive, I become alive; breath by breath, each time I stop participating inside myself within a thought, feeling or emotion.

Word:
Relief

noun

1.alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.

2.a means or thing that relieves pain, distress, anxiety, etc.

3.money, food, or other help given to those in poverty or need.

4.something affording a pleasing change, as from monotony.

5.release from a post of duty, as by the arrival of a substitute or replacement.

No 4 is funny, something affording a pleasing change, as from monotony. 

So the mind needs a change from monotony of repeating itself over and over again, and for this we create a feeling of releif.

Synonyms
1. mitigation, assuagement, comfort. 3.  succor, aid, redress, remedy.

Related forms

re·lief·less, adjective

Synonyms
1. mitigation, assuagement, comfort. 3.  succor, aid, redress, remedy.

Antonyms
1.  intensification.

Word Origin & History

relief

"ease, alleviation," early 14c., from Anglo-Fr. relif, from O.Fr. relief "assistance," lit. "a raising, that which is lifted," from stressed stem of relever (see relieve). Meaning "aid to impoverished persons" is attested from c.1400; that of "deliverance of a besieged town" is from 1540s.

Positive/negative charge:

Positive, as it gives me a break of struggling with the believe in being quilty.

"Oh yeah, I do it right this time; I am not quilty".

New defenition:
Letting go of the limitations of the mind by applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements to become able to live in breath.